Preparation Tips: Managing Nerves Before Reaching Out

Feeling nervous before calling or messaging a parent after having low or no contact is completely natural. Here are some helpful tips to ease your nerves and prepare yourself for a meaningful interaction:

1. Practice Deep Breathing

  • Before reaching out, take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body. Try this simple exercise:

    1. Inhale slowly for a count of four.

    2. Hold your breath for four counts.

    3. Exhale slowly for six counts.

  • Repeat this cycle a few times until you feel more centered.

2. Write Down What You Want to Say

  • Take a moment to jot down key points or specific phrases you’d like to use during the conversation. This can help you stay focused and express yourself clearly.

  • You can even draft a message or email beforehand to organize your thoughts.

3. Practice Out Loud

  • Say what you plan to write or say out loud to yourself or a trusted friend. Practicing can help you feel more confident and less anxious when it’s time to reach out.

4. Visualize a Positive Outcome

  • Close your eyes and imagine the conversation going well. Picture your parent responding warmly or kindly. This positive visualization can help reduce fear of rejection.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

  • Remind yourself that the goal isn’t to resolve everything in one conversation but to take a first step toward rebuilding the relationship.

  • Keep in mind that any response—even a small one—is progress.

6. Choose the Right Moment

  • Reach out when you’re feeling calm and have the time to process any response. Avoid rushing into the conversation when you’re stressed or pressed for time.

7. Have a Backup Plan

  • If nerves make it hard to start the conversation, you can rely on prepared message templates or even write a heartfelt letter instead.

  • Having a plan B can ease the pressure of feeling like everything hinges on one moment.

By preparing yourself mentally and emotionally, you can approach the conversation with greater confidence and composure, making it easier to take this important step.